I could relate.
Since I left the USA in 2011, I’ve lived in three developing countries.
In ten years, never have I lived somewhere out of earshot of cocks crowing. Not just at 4AM, but All. Day. Long.
When I used to Zoom with business associates every week, it was how they knew I had joined the call before my video fired up. They could hear the freaking roosters. “Bob’s here“.
It was irritating for a few years. And then I decided to reframe the situation to make it less stressful. In other words, flip my script.
I’ve always enjoyed the sound of birdsong in the morning.
The roosters were just another occurrence of birdsong.
Bingo. Mind went from irritation to enjoyment in about a microsecond.
Flipping the script
It’s just a clever term for one of the most powerful aspects of the human mind – the ability to create meaning.
Our senses bring in raw data from outside of us. They have exactly zero meaning – the sights, sounds, scents just are.
There’s no more meaning to the scent of roses than the smell of a garbage dump. Though we interpret one as lovely and the other as obnoxious, it’s just the meaning we attribute to that which arrives in our brain through our sense of smell.
There’s no more meaning to the cacophony of horns honking or roosters crowing than there is to silence. Though some might irritate us more than others, it’s just because of the meaning we make of the sounds.
And we’re free to change the meaning of whatever we choose – simply by changing our minds.
That’s not just some circus sideshow act.
That’s a hugely powerful capability of your mind – to change your thoughts, to produce a more enjoyable experience of life.
- Holding resentment about someone because of how you interpreted their words or actions? Flip the script with a forgiveness process.
- Irritated by the traffic jams on your way to work? Flip the script to how grateful you are to own a comfortable car, and not have to use public transportation.
- Hate the Republicans, or Democrats? Flip the script to realize they are far more than just their political beliefs. Separate the deed from the doer, and come to a greater appreciation of your brothers and sisters who happen to have differing political preferences from yours. Or flip the script to acknowledge that politicians from your preferred party are pretty corrupt, too.
- Angry at your partner because of something they did/didn’t do that failed to meet your standards and expectations? Flip the script to your love for him/her, reduce your angst, and have a Non-Violent Conversation to work things out. Or flip your script to realize that your expectations may be unreasonable.
There’s literally no end to the many practical applications of this technique.
All it takes is:
- The self-awareness to realize when you’re on edge
- The knowledge that you can easily change your mind to improve upon the situation, to reduce your irritation and improve your state of mind.
I suggest you give it a whirl next time you feel agitated.
~ Bobby
Wow! This is really helpful. It just perfectly agrees, and expounds upon, what I’ve always believed too. It’s not really the situations that are the problem, it’s how we interpret the situation.
I am going to include the link to this article in my writing for today.