If you’ve ever ridden a subway you’re probably familiar with this rather weird expression. It instructs us to be careful when boarding the subway car so as not to get our foot caught in the gap between the platform and the car.

It’s also  true – though rarely posted – when onboarding an escalator.

It’s good advice.

I don’t even want to think of the physical damage that would result from a subway train taking off while someone’s foot is stuck in the gap. Several times, though, I’ve had to catch my balance when I’m not paying attention when I get on an escalator.

It’s also an expression from modern Buddhist practice.

Buddhism (and Stoicism as well) teach us that suffering is the outcome from blindly following any thought or feeling that happens to arise, or allowing  external circumstances to mess with our mojo.

We’re limited in our ability to control our external circumstances. And most of us don’t have absolute control over our thoughts and emotions.

How we react is entirely within our control.

(Geek alert: a few tidbits from neuroscience and psychology follow.)

There’s an area of the brain that essentially produces a built-in negativity bias. It’s called the dorsal raphe nucleus (DRN). The DRN is implicated in depression – both short episodes, and chronic. Depression is characterized by helplessness, hopelessness, and passivity (and sometimes extreme anxiety leading to panic attacks). Unchecked, repeated activation of the DRN yields a pessimistic attitude.

Pessimism turns setbacks into disasters. Pessimism causes us to interpret unfortunate events  as permanent, pervasive, uncontrollable. It bleeds all over into I am negative judgments like guilt and shame.

The DRN function can be largely inhibited by our pre-frontal cortex – our thinking brain. In other words, we can think our way out of pessimism and episodic depression via learned techniques. 

[/Geek Stuff]

We need not become victims of stuff we can’t control – like external circumstances or spontaneous random thoughts and feelings.

The key is in Minding the Gap.

There’s an instant in time between action and reaction. That gap makes all the difference between unconsciously reacting or consciously responding to stimuli.

Unconscious reaction? You take whatever you get. Often with unpleasant outcomes.

Conscious response? You regulate your emotions so that you don’t get carried into negativity territory.

The key is learning to be able to access that instant.

It’s been said that the mind is either a ruthless tyrant or a wonderful slave.

The primary quality of self-mastery is transforming the mind from master to slave.

Mindfulness practices slow down the frantic activity of the unmanaged mind, so that the gap becomes apparent – and thus manageable.

Meditation. Yoga. Intense prolonged focus on a single point – like a candle flame or a spot on the wall. Any of these will produce the desired result – but only if they’re regular practices. Something you do every day (or nearly so).